5. Starry

Yes, another lemon-lime soda. Pepsi replaced its Sierra Mist with Starry to try to compete with Sprite in the citrus soda market. Identical to Sierra Mist, with the exception of swapping cane sugar with high fructose corn syrup. So the same thing, but worse branding, debatably unhealthier, and tastes worse.

Way to go, PepsiCo.

4. Prime

The fact that it was created by YouTubers should be your first red flag. With both a sports drink and an energy drink variation. Sickly sweet and expensive, boasting almost no sugar, it instead uses different artificial sweeteners. Capitalizing on YouTube’s young audience and utilizing rare and limited-time flavors, kids all over have flocked to different stores to collect different flavors of Prime. Don’t even get me started on the energy drink version…

3. G-fuel

Made popular by streamers and gamers, G-fuel is basically water, caffeine, and artificial sweeteners. The company claims that it increases focus and reaction time; if jittery fingers can be categorized as lightning-fast reactions, then maybe. This drink comes in powder form so you can dump tons of it into your cup and not worry about how much you’re actually getting. If someone can find an actual athlete who uses G-Fuel, I will reconsider its place on this list.

2. Bubblr

I have to say, Bubblr fooled me at first too. No corn syrup, virtually no sugar, and low in calories, what’s not to love? Branded as just a naturally sweetened sparkling water with caffeine, this almost sounds like the perfect drink. It’s marketed as a “healthy energy drink for everyday consumption.” Please don’t have one every day. Just read this finding by a student at Knox University: “I have an unsettling finding to report regarding the side effects of consuming erythritol. Erythritol doesn’t get digested by the body, which is how it is able to impart sweetness on the tongue while still being virtually zero-calorie. Yet, because it is not digested, erythritol causes significant bloating, diarrhea and other gastrointestinal issues when it reaches the lower intestines.” So basically, a liquid laxative, not to mention erythritol, I think I’m from the camp that says if you can’t pronounce the ingredient, it’s probably not that good for you. (A quick Google search does not yield promising results on the health benefits of this sweetener.)

1. Celsius

Taking our number one spot with extreme ease, Celsius. There are a number of concerning things with this drink, but I think the first one is how excessively consumed this drink is by people who have no knowledge of its contents. At least most people understand what a Monster energy drink has in it. Celsius is also marketed as a weight loss drink. I don’t even know what to say about that. With a whopping 200-300 grams of caffeine in just a 12-ounce can. For reference, that’s basically double Red Bull and Monster Energy. No bueno. Oh, and one of its “natural sweeteners” is also the aforementioned erythritol. Basically a heart attack and diarrhea in a can. Feel free to check out the other sweeteners if you are so compelled.