Horoscopes: April 2021


Navigator Staff


Aries: When you see your Snapchat memories from last March about how many shows you watched and treats you baked, you’ll go into a Great British Bake Off binge. Just as embarrassing as it sounds.

Taurus: By organizing your desk, you feel a sense of accomplishment and pride. This feeling will subside as soon as you can’t remember where your airpods are.

Gemini: Someone will compliment your shoes at the grocery store, and you will nearly pass out from the attention. Then when you get home, your dog will promptly chew them to pieces. 

Cancer: You’re sick of sitting in bed all day doing school, so you’ll decide to do class in the park. City of Minneapolis wifi won’t connect to your laptop, and you miss your math test, which your teacher won’t let you retake… tough. 

Leo: You’ll feel inspired to spend far too much money shopping in the coming weeks. Nothing that you bought fits, and you’ve cut all of the tags off of the clothes. You’re left with either donating it to goodwill for NHS service hours, or selling clothes on your snapchat story. 

Virgo: Your mom is going to suggest that you start going to bed earlier because you seem stressed out, but you can only function after 11pm now.  

Libra: Because it’s spring break and you’ve been mentally checked out since October, you won’t open your laptop for 7 days. It’ll come back to haunt you when you realize that your English teacher gave you an essay to write over break. 

Scorpio: You will remember something that you forgot to do yesterday, but by now it’s too late (yikes).

Sagittarius: You will feel a sense of longing, but you can’t seem to know why. At least you’re not a Scorpio

Capricorn: One of your family members will wake you up at 3 am just to tell you that you left a light on downstairs. To make it worse, you will be in the middle of a REM cycle.

Aquarius: You will see an add for a 1996 Toyota Corolla. Your parents will tell you not to buy it, but you simply cannot resist the cassette player and the stellar gas mileage.

Pisces: After getting the food you ordered from UberEats, you will realize that you forgot to ask for no utensils. This will cause you to have a mild panic because you believe that you’re a sustainable person and that this one mistake will ruin your chances at a degree in environmental science, but you’ll eventually get over it by eating your now cold food while watching NCIS.